Shocked and Amazed - On and Off the Midway

Tony would do almost anything to draw a crowd. One of his favorite bits was the vanishing coin trick. He held up a silver dollar and told the crowd it would vanish before their eyes. Then he placed the coin on the platform and had Mazie stand on it. "Now I want you all to step closer because when she removes her foot, the dollar will vanish." The crowd pressed closer to the platform to watch the coin under the girl's foot. Tony continued with his spiel about the show for ten minutes. By the time he was ready to ëturn the tip', the crowd had forgotten about the coin. If they hadn't, it did not really matter; he had accomplished his purpose. He had held their attention for the spiel and Mazie merely picked up the coin and walked into the tent.

Tony frequently used the Head Chopper Guillotine to draw a crowd. He chose a boy from the spectators and really built up the effect. Just as he lowered the blade on the scared youth, he stopped and described a few of the acts to be seen on the inside. He did this two or three times before actually completing the trick. Tony worked the chopper during the dinner hour when some of the acts took off for a meal break. The acts inside stretched their bits and Tony killed time with the chopper.

Another illusion we used was the Totem Pole Escape. It was always set up on the platform, and if we were short of acts to bally (there was always a big turnover during the season), it was one of Tony's favorite presentations.

We liked it because it meant the inside acts did not have to work the bally. He used Mazie and Muscles. Muscles dressed in a loin cloth and Mazie was in a scanty costume. Muscles carried Mazie out, who kicked fiercely and screamed at the top of her lungs.

Muscles and Tony tied her to the totem pole as she continued to scream. The sight of an almost-naked guy and girl brought the crowds running. Our damsel in distress managed to stop screaming and struggling as Tony gave his dramatic spiel. Then, Mazie did her escape from the pole just as Tony turned his tip. Muscles and Mazie walked hand in hand into the tent ... until the next bally.

When we arrived in Ridley Park, PA, Doc Williams was mad as hell. Our Congress Of Human Oddities show personnel was shrinking. The annex attraction phoned to report she would not be able to join the show. Wee Willie, our fat boy, quit the show at our last stand. Some promoter had lured him away to pair him up with Dainty Dot, a fat girl. He was framing a grind show to feature them both as "The World's Fattest Married Couple - A Ton Of Fun." Our 10-in-1 show was down to Mazie who worked the Electric Chair and the Blade Box; Bobo the human pincushion; Tessie the tattooed girl; and me with the magic.

Doc called us all together and told us of the changes he was making. "We are going to reorganize the show. Tony Dee and Roger will still handle the bally. Walt will do the magic, but will do ten minutes. I'll work the Electric Chair and the Blade Box with Mazie. Bob will continue to do his act. Muscles, I'm taking you off the ticket box and making you ëThe Indestructible Boy'. We will teach you how to lay on a bed of spikes (nailboard) and also the human blockhead (hammering nails up the nostrils). I've got a banner in the truck for the Indestructible act.

"Tessie, you're going off the main show to become our extra added annex attraction. We'll take down the tattooed girl banner." The annex attraction was housed in a partitioned-off end of the tent. It was always an act that was not advertised outside and people paid as much to see the "blow off" as they did for the whole show. Doc would give the attraction such a build up, almost everyone would pay extra to go in and see it. And this money was found money. The amount was not reported to the carnival owners. Tessie looked a little concerned.

"Doc, nobody's gonna pay extra to see a tattooed gal. I'm not unusual enough for an annex attraction."

"You leave it up to me, Tessie. By the time I'm finished with you, everyone will be coming in to see you. Now while I tell you what to do, Bobo, go to the truck and get out the nailboard and the new banner. Walt, you and Muscles take down Tessie's banner. Then, Bobo, I want you to teach Muscles how to do the nailboard and blockhead acts." That evening we opened the new show and everything went smoothly. Muscles did a great blockhead and nailboard act. It gave him a chance to show off his super physique. He worked the act like he had been doing it for years.

But the highlight of the evening was Doc Williams' presentation of Tessie, our new annex attraction. "Now folks, I want everyone to step down to this end of the tent. I'm going to tell you about an extra added attraction we did not advertise on the outside. I want you all to move in closer so you can see and hear what I'm talking about."

All the people crowded closer to Doc. "And now I would like to present our star attraction - Miss Tessie." Tessie came out from behind the canvas wall and I hardly recognized her. She looked sensational! She had on a blonde wig, complete stage makeup and false eye lashes. She was dressed in a beautiful blue robe trimmed in plush ostrich feathers. She wore a rhinestone tiara, earrings and necklace. She was sprayed with cheap perfume. She looked like one of the strippers from the girlie show.

The robe covered her body so none of the tattoos were showing. She had no tattoos on her lower arms or legs or neck, so she could wear street clothes and no one would know of her epidermic art museum. Tessie gave everyone a great big smile, winked at a couple of the guys in the crowd and went back behind the canvas.

"Now, while Tessie goes behind the wall to get ready for her act, I'd like to tell you what you are about to see. She looks like a beautiful young gal. Well, she is. All except for her body. When she removes her robe, you are going to see one of the strangest bodies in the world. That's what I said! There is no woman in this tent, in this carnival, or in this city with a body like Tessie's. Some of you won't believe what you will see. Some will find her body so repulsive you will turn away, but you will remember this strange sight as long as you live. When you view her bizarre body, you'll know why no man has ever asked her to marry him.

"Because this is not a family attraction we cannot permit anyone under the age of 16 years to enter the tent. Now I can see we have a lot of red-blooded young men in this audience, and after you have seen this gal's body I want you to ask yourself whether or not you would want to date this poor creature. Would you want to sleep with her? Now this is a sex attraction and everything will be revealed on the inside. The cost is only 25¢, and only those over 16 years of age may enter. This way please."

With a build up like that, who could resist? Everyone crowded into the tent. Kids lied about their age and went in. It really didn't make any difference because Tessie wore a bikini under the robe and there was nothing at all offensive in her presentation. I helped Doc collect the quarters. When all were in the annex, they gathered around Tessie who was still in her robe. Doc began his second pitch.

"Now before Tessie reveals her strange body to you, we must insist that no photos be taken." There wasn't a single camera in the crowd.

"Tessie was examined and photographed by doctors at Johns Hopkins Medical Center just six months ago. We obtained negatives of those shocking photos and have made prints for those of you who want a photo to remember this event and to show to your friends. Because, believe me, they will never believe you when you describe her body. Because of the nature of these photos we cannot sell them to you. We have sealed each photo in an envelope, and we ask that you do not open the envelope until you leave our main tent tonight. We do not want the children in the tent to see these photos. We do not want to get into trouble with the authorities. We ask a silver donation of 10¢ for each photo and you may pick up an extra photo for your friends. Walt will pass among you with a box of these sealed envelopes, each containing a medical photo. You can take the envelope yourself and drop your donation in the box. Thank you."

They crowded around me and took their envelopes. When all had purchased their photos, they turned back to Tessie, who removed her robe and went into her lecture about the tattoos.

Doc Williams was a great talker. He knew how to sell an attraction. Nothing he described was untrue; he just let the crowds imagine what they wanted to about Tessie's body. By sealing the post card size photos (which cost less than a cent each), he continued to play on the curiosity and imagination of the spectators. I was beginning to learn what the side show business was all about.